For my Wix page, I will continue to add more small details that will keep the attention of my audience.
Originally, the set pieces in my essay were not strong pieces.
Two pieces I revised for my ePortfolio are writing project two and my Wix page. My reflection, in the beginning, will focus on how my two revisions to wp2 and my Wix page will be stronger. Then I will discuss how the immersion experience helped me grow as a thinker and writer because the W131 writing strategies challenged me yet helped me.
For writing project two I plan to shape, revise, and edit my writing to meet the concerns of purpose and audience. In doing that I plan to add in a multi-synthesis paragraph. As well as fix minor grammar issues and most likely take out a few unwanted things. For my Wix page, I will continue to add more small details that will keep the attention of my audience. In “There slaughtering us like animals” by David Berehulak he used vivid images in his writing piece but also very detailed writing. I would consider his piece multi-modal being that it gives his audience multiple things to look at and consider. His writing piece helped me in a way that influenced me to add more photos to my Wix page. And to also be more detailed in my writing and how I transition from room to room or how the room looks. I may or may not add in more personal info to my Wix depending on how I want my Wix page to look when published.
As I strategically revise my immersion experience narrative, I open in medias res. "The question of where we begin” by Kyle Minor goes over beginning a writing piece with trouble also known as medias res. In my writing project two, I began my narrative piece with trouble. In which I portrayed a scene of a young girl falling off a gym scooter and hurting herself. I believe this was the best option because it allowed my narrative piece to grab the audience’s attention from the beginning. For the narrative portion, I focus on each transition from room to room and the activities the kids participated in. Which helped me discover, explore, and analyze ideas in order to write with a strong sense of ownership. The format of my wp2 is unique and has helped me gain confidence in my reading and writing. In addition, I also made sure to share details about the setting, activities, and safety to give my audience a better perspective. Originally, the set pieces in my essay were not strong pieces which is why I plan to revise them. I didn’t support them well enough for them to enrich the narrative. Learning to reflect on my writing practices to improve them has been a challenge. It’s difficult and sometimes frustrating dealing with constructive criticism. During peer review of the narrative, I participated in conversations about my writing as well as others I partnered with. I got helpful strategies like pointing, say back, and on the edge, comments to help me develop my essay a lot better in the needs of format, and transition.
During my trip to the Boys & Girls, I learned to listen and communicate with children better.
Many of those kids at that Boys & Girls Club had been through a lot so being able to learn from them was an interesting experience. I selected this as my course immersion experience because I love interacting with children but also because I wanted more experience as someone wanting to go into a field working with children. To prepare I went through the volunteer steps off the Boys & Girls Club website. And further emailed the director of the website in which I learned simple things such as appropriate attire. After and during my immersion experience I took notes and photos which gave me ideas for the format flow. I did more research on the benefits of attending a Boys & Girls Club. In which I found compelling information to add to my writing piece. Later, I showed ownership by focusing on the effect of the Boys & Girls Club on the staff and me as well. In Percy's writing piece "My Terrifying Night With Afghanistan's Only Female Warlord" she compared Commander Pigeon to everything she was not. No acid throwing or biting off chicken heads, or leaving prisoners in vats to die. She was not like Commander Zardad who kept a human dog on a chain to maul and sometimes eat people. She was a woman and she killed men—while wearing a flowery dress.” In comparing commander pigeon to other commander’s it gave her a better window to call commander pigeon for what she was but not make her seem worse like the others she described. In my writing, I considered doing that in regards to the building and supervision.
Overall, I'm glad I got the chance to experience this class as well as something we called an immersion experience. I learned so much that can better my writing to come and learned how to create a Wix. Although COVID-19 did affect my ability to remain in class I was still able to learn a lot.
